Auntie Anger: I See Dumb People

It’s lonely at the top.  I’m not even the at the summit–I’m probably in the lower echelons of the top ten percent.  When you know that you are more intelligent than ninety percent of the world out there, you are one of three things:

1. Legitimately smarter than ninety percent of humans, i.e., an IQ of one-fifty plus.

2. Schizophrenic (far more common than No. 1)

3. A dolphin.

I’m a smart person in a dumb person’s world.  I have always felt like a space alien who landed here by tragic accident.  It makes me sad that the human race, despite having made much headway in the last two hundred years, is so incredibly dumb.  Not like we need any proof of how stupid the human race is, but the existence of war and religions willing to fight each over books of fairy tales serves as clear evidence that men of influence and power don’t have much in the way of candlepower.  Wars and strict adherence to the insane ramblings of Bronze Age warlords aside, stupid manifests itself mostly in the mundane.


I have a special pity for the mates of couch potatoes who spend their weekends planted in front of a football/basketball/baseball game, living vicariously through the literal brain death (brain damage is extremely common in many sports, especially American pro football) of sweaty males pounding each other in hot musclebound glory.  I have never been drawn to the spectacle of a bunch of grown men playing with each other.  The homoeroticism of men watching other men pseudo-gladiate on a field is far more obvious than the Greeks who liked their Olympians naked.  The idea that entire nations could be entranced by such circuses is ludicrous, yet for some the home team losing the championship is reasonable motive for suicide, an activity that I encourage all true sports fans to strongly consider as a viable option.


The very word “music” implies inspiration, so it’s a misnomer.  The music of the last hundred years is primarily horrible noise meant to either encourage the primitive sexual herkings and jerkings called dance or to annoy the listener into remembering a specific brand of product.  If you go one step further and consider what is called “popular” music, it’s straight out of the frying pan into the fire.  Popular music is a scary phrase, because popular music is dumb and dumb is popular.  With every new dawn of popular music genre, there seems to be an increased loss of communal intelligence: just when you thought Hair-Metal was the dumbest, most debased, woman-hating, vice-glorifying form of entertainment to blight world consciousness, along comes Hip-Hop to make the purveyors of Hair-Metal look like  Mensa members.  Of course MTV lost interest in music about seven years after it was launched: they were never in the business of actual music anyway, it was all entertainment with an emphasis upon the vapid.  They simply stopped lying.  The saddest and most sorry musical product of them all is Country, America’s gift to the rest of the world.  Country is what happens when you glorify the underachievers in life; when you champion the cult of mediocrity with its generic twangs and howlings; when you stoke the flames under the Nashville sweatshop songmills that churn out what is essentially one giant tune chopped into millions of craptastic radio bits.

The Space Program

We are stupid monkeys that can’t even get to our own moon anymore (Obama I am talking to you) let alone beyond it.  Oh no, we’re too preoccupied with fighting each other and destroying our planet by sucking it dry for petrochemicals to travel to the over one-hundred moons of the gas giants that await us within our own solar system!  Sure, there’s nothing more to be learned or gained by more space travel, even though the space program brought us a few minor offshoot technologies like:

1. Cellphones

2. Personal computers

3. The internet

No, let’s just stick around here and pollute the remains of our poor dying planet everything while we war over whose imaginary God will take all the “saved” monkeys to the great big amusement park in the sky!  Let’s watch the satellite television that NASA spawned and speculate over which celebrities are humping each other, right?  Anyone?

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